thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize
