Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Is it because I queefed?
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize