I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
