As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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