Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
