He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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