I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Randomize
