I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
