Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
