I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Randomize