wake up i wanna do it froggy style
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
