I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
