dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
