You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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