Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
i've created a new STD.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize
