But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
