Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
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