I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Send help, water and tortillas.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
