Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
