Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
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