Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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