they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Randomize
