Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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