I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
