I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
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