that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize