my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
