But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
