she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
