I want you more than these girls want KFC
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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