i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
