would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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