Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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