what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I party with great urgency now.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
