Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
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