Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
