you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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