My Higher Power is John Stamos
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
