And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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