Midget sex pt 2 tonight
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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