its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
birth control should be required to get into college
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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