Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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