Christians are straight up FREAKS
I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
