Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
