Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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