Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
