I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
She's not a foreskin expert like you
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
