why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
