the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Randomize
