Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize