One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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