it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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