Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
