don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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