Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
