I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
