He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Randomize
