Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
