I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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