I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
