Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize