nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Randomize
