Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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