16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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