One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
